Navigating Divorce with a Narcissist or Other Personality Disorder

Divorce is a challenging time for many people. There can be complex emotions and difficult conversations about child custody, support payments, and the division of assets. However, divorcing an individual with narcissistic tendencies or other personality disorders presents unique challenges that must be managed.

Divorcing a narcissist or someone with other personality disorders can cause drama and anxiety in what is likely an already complex relationship. At Silverman, Tokarsky & Forman, LLC, our divorce lawyers want you back into control of your life so that you can move forward with optimism and confidence.

Contact our Johnstown office today to discuss your options during a confidential legal consultation. We understand the emotional stress, frustration, and complications that come with working with an individual with a personality disorder, and we have the skills and resources to help you overcome your complicated situation. 

What Is a Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

The term “narcissist” is frequently used to describe difficult-to-manage individuals or people who seemingly have a huge ego. However, narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition that can cause significant problems in many areas of a person’s professional and personal life.

Men are more likely than women to develop narcissistic personality disorder, which can start to show in an individual’s teens or early adulthood. Although the disorder is nuanced, it is typically described as a personality disorder that presents a strong need for admiration, attention, and a grandiose self-image. These individuals tend to have an excessive need to impress others or feel important, driving harmful behaviors that can negatively affect those around them. Most people with NPD also appear to lack empathy for others.

Some of the most common signs that may point to narcissistic personality disorder or another mental health condition include:

• Unreasonably high sense of self-importance
• The constant need for attention and admiration from others
• Feelings of deserving special treatment or privileges
• Inflating their achievements
• Feeling they deserve recognition or constant praise
• Feelings of superiority
• Envious of others and their achievements
• Exhibits arrogance, boasting, or bragging
• Frequent fantasies of grandeur, power, and success
• Lack of empathy and willingness to exploit others

These individuals often have fragile egos and can lash out, becoming impatient and angry when they perceive they are not getting the recognition or special treatment they “deserve.” They can also have difficulty managing their emotions, especially anger and rage, which can lead to behavioral issues. They may also get moody and depressed when they fall short of perfection or harbor secret feelings of guilt, shame, and humiliation when things do not go their way. 

Tips for Divorcing an Individual with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Divorcing an individual with narcissistic personality disorder or other personality disorders can be particularly challenging because they often perceive divorce as a failure. They can react poorly and attempt to exert excessive control over the situation, making the process more challenging on purpose. Often, individuals with personality disorders undermine the process or manipulate their spouse to meet their needs, due to their obsessive need to “win”.

• Contact a family law attorney immediately – Divorcing someone with a diagnosed personality disorder can be significantly more complicated. The sooner you get personalized legal representation from our divorce attorneys who understand NPD, the better. Never take legal advice from your adversary, and do not doubt that a person with narcissistic personality disorder will consider you an adversary. Often, these individuals will use techniques like gaslighting, passive-aggressive manipulation tactics, and lies to control you and hijack the divorce process for their benefit. Our strong divorce lawyers can protect you and your family, helping you avoid the common emotional and legal pitfalls narcissists use to control the process.
• Limit communication – Now is the right time to limit communication. Do not give your spouse ammunition to use against you during the divorce. Remain calm and collected during interactions, and limit communication on social media and other written platforms. Also, be mindful to avoid toxic language or badmouthing. A narcissist may attempt to get people close to you to tell them what you’ve said about them, using this information against you later.
• Set boundaries – Narcissists can employ numerous techniques to get what they want during a divorce. A narcissist may attempt to “love bomb” you to convince you they’ve changed, play the victim, make the divorce all your fault, or manipulate the legal system to put them in the best light possible and make you look like the bad guy. Set reasonable boundaries with your spouse to protect your mental health and prevent them from exerting undue influence over you during this time. Following your attorney’s advice is the best way to prevent these tactics from becoming successful.
• Document everything – Documentation is key. Save all correspondence, such as your spouse’s texts, letters, and emails. Start a journal and document your interactions, remaining as calm and objective as possible. It is not unusual for narcissists to lie or spin the truth to get what they want. You need as much evidence as possible to show their true colors.
• Get a support team together – Now more than ever, you need moral and emotional support to get through this challenging time. Our compassionate attorneys are supporting influences. However, you can also look to family, friends, clergy, or support groups for additional help. Narcissists may try to isolate you or manipulate others into taking their side. Stay strong and build a close inner circle of people you know can provide unconditional love and support.
• Consider professional help – Navigating divorce from someone with a personality disorder can push you to your emotional limits. Consider seeking professional help from a therapist who understands personality disorders and can help you work through your complicated emotional situation. Many can offer helpful coping tactics and strategies to benefit you when interacting with your spouse during the divorce.
• If you have children, show them you are the safe parent – Children can also feel the stress and anxiety of coping with a narcissistic parent during a divorce. Protect your child as best you can by showing them unconditional love and support, establishing that you are a safe person they can rely on when they need help or to talk. Avoid arguments with your partner in front of your child, and give your family the stability they need during this confusing time.

How a Divorce Attorney Can Help

There is one person you can rely on for unwavering support and advice during this challenging time in your life: Our skilled and experienced divorce attorneys. At Silverman, Tokarsky & Forman, LLC, our respected divorce lawyers take a team approach to representing clients who are going through difficult divorces. We understand the unique challenges our clients face when dealing with a partner that has NPD or another personality disorder and help them by providing personalized legal advice, moral support, and aggressive legal representation to reach a fair settlement arrangement.

With an entire team on your side, we help put control back into your hands so you can confidently move through this stage of your life. Creative solutions to your legal situation are only a click away.

Contact Us Today

Let the team at Silverman, Tokarsky & Forman, LLC, help you build a comprehensive legal strategy designed to balance the scales and ensure a partner with narcissistic personality disorder doesn’t derail your future.

Contact our office today, and let’s weather this storm together because better days are ahead.